Shades of Gray
by soda-cola-pop
Summary: slightly AU. Lessons have to be learned... Things are not always what they seem. First impressions should not last. And sometimes, time can not heal old wounds. A Tifa fic.
1. 1 Santa's Little Helper

Disclaimer: Sony and SquareSoft's Final Fantasy 7 characters and locations were used in this story for non-profitable purposes. No infringement intended. 

"When love dies, there is still hope that the same love can be revived.  
But when it fades away, there is nothing more left to recover..." -Author

Shades of Gray  
Part One: Santa's Little Helper  
The third of December

Winter came as it should, chilling to the extent that it had kept all the town's occupants locked up inside the refuge of their warm homes. Everyone that was in the vicinity of his or her house was kept heated, and there was nothing to be feared but the deathly cold temperature awaiting them just outside their doors. The wintry season was indeed cold, yet it's also known to bring warmth in the hearts of people... But there's always a place for such coldness to linger and grow, especially if time had tested its rigidity to waste and tear.

In the town of Kalm, there was but one heart that was filled with such growing iciness. Amidst everyone else's bustling and busy preparations for Christmas, Tifa Lockhart had withdrawn to her own room, sipping warm cocoa and looking at the snow-covered surroundings through her misty bedroom window. Instead of feeling the joy of the Yuletide season, she felt numb inside, and all senses and thoughts of celebrating the holiday were all pushed aside. The only thing occupying her mind was the feeling of heaviness and the void that had crept inside her wholeness.

"Yo, 'tis da season to be jolly Teef!" she was too caught up in her own world to even notice that Barret had entered her room. She glanced in his direction and saw that her brawny friend was dressed in a red Santa Claus outfit, dragging a large sack filled to the magnitude that some of its contents were threatening to spill out of the bag. A huge smile was plastered on his unshaven face, and Tifa thought it was unusual to see such a grouchy guy like him to be this cheery. Habitually, Barret was such a sourpuss when it came to dealing with anything and anyone else other than his daughter, Marlene.

The thought of Barret's vulnerability to the little child warmed Tifa's heart and a genuine smile quickly spread on her lips. She turned to face him, finally tearing her gaze from the entire scenery overlaid with thick blankets of snow. "I was just wondering when the snow would stop falling." She shrugged, realizing it was partly true. The cold was beginning to be intolerable and even the heater wasn't keeping her warm.

"Wonderin' when da snow would stop fallin'? I thought ya love snow! Dat's da dumbest thing I ever heard! Who'd ever want such a wonder like dat to stop from spreadin' its simple beauty?" Barret raved on, gesticulating to the sight of the window, showing his negation on her uttered statement. She grinned wider, remembering his "golden shiny wire of hope" comment and how silly he could be whenever he got on his poetic mood. "Ya see those people makin' snowmen and snowballs, and snow angels and all dat? Dat gives me a damn good reason to think dat snow is one honest excuse to celebrate!"

"Sure the celebrating comes first. Remember, you'll have to shovel all that soon." She reminded him, and the smile was immediately transformed into his signature scowl.

He dropped his sack on the floor and glared at her. "And you damn hafta remind me dat." She just watched him and once again, she couldn't help think how much he resembled a giant teddy bear. That very thought made her smile. "Yeah, you better keep that smile on your face 'coz yer gonna be Santa's little helper from now on." Tifa didn't know what he meant until he reached inside the bag and handed her a red cloth.

She studied the cherry coloured garment and the smile slipped from her face. She recognized it as one of the ruby dresses worn by the lady Santa Clauses, or, as Barret simply put it, Santa's little helpers down by the mall. "Uh, I don't think I can help you with this one..." She began uncertainly, glancing over at her friend to see his reaction. "I mean, don't you have any more help than you need back there?"

Barret waved a hand as if dismissing her remark. "Yeah sure, like we can friggin' call Elena and Yuffie help? At least Shera can cook me a delicious meal." He grumbled, showing his displeasure on having to be nice to the Turks. After Sephiroth and Meteor's defeat, the three people in blue had proposed a truce to stop hassling one another since they had no more reason to harass each other. At first, Reno and Rude kept a respectable distance from their group while Elena straightway struck a friendly atmosphere with everyone in Avalanche except Barret and Cid.

"I don't know if I feel up to it. Besides, I'm sure there would be a lot of other women who'd be willing to take this job." Tifa didn't feel like wearing a short skirt at this time of the year but she knew a lot of ladies would be thrilled to work wearing it since it would be a good opportunity to meet men.

"I don't like having to interview cartloads o' women fer one job. C'mon Tifa, ya gotta help me wit' dis! Yer da only one who can keep Elena and Yuffie a li'l less annoying." That was true since they would just talk the whole time, after all, Tifa had gotten close to them in a little less than a year that the three of them had been friends. Barret chuckled softly, a small smile eking out of his lips. "Besides, Cloud will be there too."

"Barret, don't start with that topic." The last thing she wanted to be reminded of was her supposed best friend. She could admit anytime of any given day her true feelings for him, but then she feared that he may not feel the same way towards her. Her knowing that Cloud still lived in the past and the fact that he hadn't moved on with his life haunted her that maybe he did love Aeris so much, too much that a strong factor such as death wasn't even able to break the bond of emotions for the Ancient. It was clear in everything he did that he continued to linger in the memory of Aeris before her death and Tifa found it absurd that he had yet accepted the fact that their friend was dead and there was nothing more to be done.

Tifa retreated to her spot in front of the window where she had been mulled over before Barret had interrupted her reverie. Frost had topped the glass, fairly obscuring everything from sight. She wiped some of the haze away, creating an opening big enough for her to look out into the pre-Christmas commotion.

"Cloud is still trapped in his own illusory world, haunted by ghosts from the past. He's merely existing now, waiting for the time when he'll be rescued from this oblivion. I think he's anticipating his escape from the life he has abandoned and called a nightmare..." Tifa murmured softly, peering out into the open, in high hopes that she'd see something that could uplift her spirits from this sudden assault of depression.

She felt a comforting hand on her shoulder and she looked up to see Barret gazing at her sympathetically. "Wow Teef, dat was deep. If only I was da real Santa Claus, I'd give you da happiness only you deserve." She smiled at her friend's kind words and squeezed his hand appreciatively. "You don't hafta go if ya don't wanna..."

"No, I'll go. 'Tis the season to be jolly, am I correct? And I have little children to make happy." She stood up and took the dress from a chair. She fingered the soft fabric and ran her hands down the velvety clothing. Marlene still didn't know his father was the Santa Claus and Tifa wouldn't want to miss having to see the little girl's face light up when she sees him.

Barret shook his head and smiled fondly at her. "I really admire you, Teef. Being cheerful and optimistic for everyone when you're ready to break down inside... I wish I can be like that, too." Unaware how his words had struck her, he gathered the stuff that had scattered from the open bag.

She took one final look out the window before following Barret out of her bedroom. He thought she was strong, she could only wish she could believe that as well.

Outside, the snow continued falling, covering everything in its powdery white essence.

Author's Notes: Is it Santa Claus, Santa Clause or Santa Klaus? For all those who have just started reading, this was created YEARS before Advent Children came out (March-May 2002), that's why there are no real references to Kadaj. Anyway, expect appearances of more FFVII characters in the next chapters. ) Thank you for reading! Reviews, comments, suggestions and critiques (err, not flames) are greatly appreciated.


	2. 2 A Sense of Peace

Disclaimer: Sony and SquareSoft's Final Fantasy 7 characters and locations were used in this story for non-profitable purposes. No infringement intended. 

Shades of Gray  
Part Two: A Sense of Peace  
Five days after Barret's invitation

Even with snow piled up to their ankles, the Christmas shoppers still trudged on, pushing through with buying presents for their loved ones. People from all walks of life lined up the streets of famous shops, unconcerned with the crowded roads they'd have to endure just so they would be able to give their loved ones something that was of their heart's desire. Such perseverance could only be deemed as either admirable or foolish.

For the past couple of days that Tifa had worked for Barret, it had been like this. She should be getting sick of the crowd but then she found herself thinking that these people deserved praises for their determination. As the north wind blew more cool drifts of air towards their side of town, Tifa hugged her sweater tighter around her lean body in hopes to keep her body temperature. She wanted to reach the mall as soon as possible, as to get out of the unbearable cold that winter had brought them.

Glancing at the huge clock tower that loomed over all of the other buildings around, she saw that it was just a little past twelve o'clock. Her shift was at one o'clock and she cringed at the thought of being pestered by the young men that hang around the area, flirting with the ladies working there. Spotting a café where she can warm herself for a while and pass the time, she made her way towards it, deciding to have a mug of hot chocolate and a few quiet moments alone to soothe her distraught nerves.

Surprisingly, the place had a few empty tables despite the bustling business outside and as soon as Tifa got her order, she was able to get a seat with a picturesque view of a garden laden with thin mantles of snow. She sat herself down and held the steaming cup in her hands, warming them and also allowing the tepidness to comfort and settle her mind. She viewed the cultivated area, admiring the splendour of the natural magnificence. I was so simple, yet so beautiful that way... She only wished things could be as uncomplicated as that.

Tifa took a whiff of the hot drink in her hands and closed her eyes as she sipped a little of the rich sugary liquid. Her bleak mood had returned and it had clouded the whole vision of satisfaction she had gotten from just observing something as elementary as the sight across her. The only hope she had was that watching Marlene delight from receiving their gifts would be enough to liven up her disposition for the whole season.

"Fancy seeing you here alone." The voice came from behind her, and Tifa looked up to see if she was the one being addressed. There, standing before her table, a cup of steaming coffee in one hand and clad in an expensive designer suit contradicting his dishevelled appearance, was Reno of the Turks. He flashed her a smile, countering the small nod she managed to give him as a greeting. "So, can I share the table with you?"

Glancing around the whole café, one could only wonder how the place got crowded in the short time she got in. Seeing no reason to be hostile with him, she gestured for him to go ahead and take the empty seat across from her even if she really wanted to have some time by herself. With nothing much to say to him, she kept herself preoccupied, staring out the window as she was doing before the minor interruption.

"I never knew you were this quiet." Reno attempted to start a conversation, and having no other form of response to give him, she just shrugged. She had always tried to avoid him since she thought of him as a cold-blooded killer, remembering how he had mercilessly pressed the switch triggering the bomb that brought down Sector Seven's plate which killing thousands in the process. But after having months and months to think it over, she had started to think that everyone deserved a chance to be forgiven and maybe that was why she had become good friends with Elena, his fellow Turk.

"What are you looking at?" He tried yet again. Man, was he ever persistent.

"I like watching the snow fall." She replied, giving him a chance in his effort for a chat. "I don't know, it just gives me an unexplainable feeling of inner peace." She glanced at the redhead, sure enough that he'd burst out laughing upon hearing what she said.

"I know what you mean." Reno agreed, surprising her. He had followed her gaze, the sunglasses slipping down the bridge of his nose. A wistful look appeared on his face and for a second there, Tifa forgot that the man in front of her was a Turk, Reno nonetheless. "The snow seems to cleanse everything, covering them in its pure white coat. I dunno why, but it gives me a sense of, like what you said, peace and wholeness... You get what I mean?"

Tifa was taken aback by his response. "I never expected to hear that from you, Reno."

"Believe me, I'm much deeper than I look." He chuckled softly and a small smile formed at the corner of her lips. "So tell me, what's a beautiful girl like you doing in a place like this at this time of the day looking as if the world is about to crash?" Her smile faltered. He leaned back and spoke even before she could answer. "Damn, who am I fooling? I'm talking to the girl who gets everything she wants."

She shook her head quickly, placing the mug of hot chocolate on the table. Remarkably, she didn't get angry by what he said. "You don't know what you're saying. Things don't always go as smoothly as people expect. No one gets all of what they desire... Or at least I don't." No sooner than a second did she start to regret having to speak like that in front of Reno of all people. Her thoughts went back to Cloud and once again, the abyss had swallowed her back into her melancholic state.

For a while, Reno appeared to be out of words and continued to stare at her with a small glimmer of sympathy. Tifa found it ironic that someone who had tried to kill her and her friends then would commiserate with her pathetic life. "Something went wrong with you and Strife, eh?" he guessed, and she would have laughed had the topic been a more personal one. A hint of amusement appeared on his face as he noted her smirk. "Did I hit the jackpot?"

For the second time around, she shook her head. "What's there to go wrong?" Reno was obviously confused by her reply, slightly choking on his beverage. He composed himself and bent forward, seemingly interested all of a sudden.

"What do you mean 'what's there to go...' " His voice trailed off, realizing what she said for the first time. He reclined back on his seat and tipped his sunglasses higher. "You mean there wasn't any relationship at all?" she nodded and he frowned. "I've heard a lot of bull before and I say this one is."

"Suit yourself-" she stopped herself from telling him anything more. Who was he anyway for her to inform him about her situation? "Why should I explain myself to you? Just forget what I said, alright?" She took her drink and resumed doing nothing, hoping he'd take the hint and leave her alone.

"I bet you're expecting me to get up and walk away, but sorry to disappoint you." Reno spoke up and it took Tifa every ounce of self-control not to lash out at him. "About what I said, I just don't believe you and Cloud aren't an item. I mean, I'm not saying you're lying or something. I just can't believe it."

"Well, I'm not asking you to believe it." She muttered softly.

Reno laughed, and it annoyed her that she didn't know whether he was laughing at her or at their conversation. "Hey, I'm not trying to insult you or start a fight or something-"

"That's pretty hard to believe."

He ignored her semi-rude comment and went on talking. "I just wanna tell you that I've envied that lucky bastard Cloud for having a babe like you."

She raised an eyebrow. "Are you trying to hit on me?" He flashed her his lovely white teeth. That smile would've made any girl swoon but not Tifa. "You're flirting with me yet you know I could kick your ass anytime."

"Yeah, but would you really?" His question made her stop and think. Heck, she had been thinking too much these days... The silliness of their conversation just got to her and a smile eked out of her lips.

"Nah, not here, not now." She said carefully, looking around. "And I wouldn't want to break a nail."

He sniggered at her remark, shaking his head in disbelief. "Really now? Here I thought you're not the type of girl who'd make a big fuss over fingernails."

She didn't figure he'd take that seriously. "Hey, that was a joke!"

"Well, jokes are always half meant." He batted his eyes lashes at her and Tifa had to smile again.

"I'll bear that in mind." Her smile broadened. Seeing that it was now a quarter before one, she placed down her unfinished drink and gathered the few stuff that was with her. "This conversation didn't turn out the way I thought. I actually enjoyed talking to you."

He turned in his seat to look at her, aquamarine eyes twinkling with unabashed mirth. "Yeah? You could've fooled me."

And for the first time in what seemed like ages, Tifa laughed a genuine laugh. She almost forgot how good it felt... Its warmth spread inside her, and it would have made her momentarily forget about the pains and the frustrations had she let it do so...

Author's Notes: Umm, how'd you like it? I hope Reno and Tifa weren't too out of character here... This is probably the chapter with the least number of grammar errors... or maybe I failed to spot them all. ) Again, thank you for reading! Reviews, comments, suggestions and critiques are greatly appreciated.


	3. 3 Still in the Shadows

Disclaimer: Sony and SquareSoft's Final Fantasy 7 characters and locations were used in this story for non-profitable purposes. No infringement intended. 

Shades of Gray  
Part Three: Still in the Shadows  
195 minutes after the coincidental meeting with Reno the Turk

As if the throngs of folks shopping for Christmas gifts weren't annoying enough, even the trains were packed with seemingly endless rows of people. The seats were all taken, and almost every inch of the floor was occupied by men and women who had no choice but to stand, lest wait in a never-ending line for another train ride. Everyone was a bit edgy, after all, most of them had endured a harrowing day at work, worrying about their Christmas bonuses... Lucky was this train for it had nothing to fret about but to follow its track and get its passengers to their destinations.

Tifa got a seat, though she wouldn't really call herself lucky. A stout man that would have given Barret a run for his money in being Santa Claus was settled to her right while a businessman on her other side was too busy reading the newspaper to notice that while he was sitting comfortably, he was crowding her. Well, at least she wasn't standing, right?

To get her mind off of her discomfort and her apparent boredom, she started observing those on board with her. A smile was shared between her and the embarrassed mother seated across who couldn't get her twins to stop running around and pushing against people. A couple to the far side of the corner can't seem to keep their hands off of each other even for a second and Tifa had to avert her eyes, afraid to intrude. And there beside the two was this fellow in a business suit, whom she noticed kept staring at her. She made it a point to ignore him. Moments passed without anything really happening.

"Tifa?" she looked up to see the same guy who had been watching her standing in front of her. His voice sounded oddly familiar, but his face... There was nothing familiar in its features and she could not recall ever seeing this man with the neatly trimmed goatee and the clever-looking dark eyes. She intently looked at him, pressing her memory to remember this person. "It's me, Reeve."

Her burgundy eyes widened, and for a while, she was too shocked to speak. "Oh my god, Reeve!" she screeched, her greeting loud enough to attract the other passengers' attention. She fumbled over for words, but only managed to stand up and give him a hug. To anyone else, it would be a bit weird to be sharing a hug with a person she never really met before, nevertheless someone she considered a friend. But for Tifa, it was just normal.

He grinned at her widely, positively happy to see her reaction. "I just couldn't stay away from my friends," He returned the embrace and pulled away shortly after. He gave her a once over, probably seeing this wiser, fully-grown up woman instead of the girl he had met then. "And how are you, Tifa?"

Her gaze dropped to the floor and she turned red. How was she? Of course, he'd be thinking she's okay, that she had resolved things with Cloud, and that she had nothing to trouble her perfect life. Knowing that, she can't just tell him how muddled her life and mind were. But she lifted her head and smiled for her friend, after all, he did come all this way just to see them. "A lot has happened, but I'm still the same. How are you, Reeve? I thought your boss wouldn't let you off the hook...?"

Her friend seemed surprised she would ask him that. He scratched his head and gave her a bashful look. "Um, he wouldn't. So I resigned." She couldn't believe it. From the stories she heard from Barret and Cid, Reeve struck her as a business-minded fellow and nothing would make him leave that job. But then again, life had a lot of surprise for everyone, and this was clearly one of them. "A friend already knows about it, and he offered to help me look for a temporary job."

"Oh, I suppose that's good... What are your other plans? I mean, if you don't have any place to stay in while you're in Kalm, we still have spare rooms at the tavern." It had been a while and Tifa knew that her friends would wish for nothing more than to be able to catch up with each other's lives especially now that they have the time to do so. "And all of us could spend the Christmas together."

Reeve smiled. "That was my plan." Right, why hadn't she thought of that sooner? "Hey, I heard you and Elena hit it off. She's been telling me a lot about you and Yuffie, that mall job, Rude, Reno... She has a lot of stories to tell."

"Yeah, she can be really talkative at times." She agreed with him, and Reeve chuckled softly.

"Well, that's Elena for us." He shrugged. "So, what have you been up to?"

"Nothing much. I closed the bar for the time being but I mostly hang out with our friends if I'm not out working or Christmas shopping..." which reminded her, she still hadn't gotten a present for Reeve. Wow, all of them would be really here for Christmas... "Hey Reeve, I'm more than glad to see you here and I'm sure the others would be too. Christmas won't be quite complete if one of us won't be present."

And yet, even if all of them showed up, a very important someone would still be missing and no one could ever fill in that place. Tifa didn't have to utter Aeris' name for Reeve to realize she was talking about the Cetra. He, too, knew how this get-together would momentarily let Cloud forget about that pain or how much each one's presence would make him feel better. "How is he managing?"

"Hmm, he's... Cloud's Cloud." She gave up trying to explain their friend's condition. "I really can't tell you how he is, I guess you'd have to see for yourself then when we get there. To put it mildly, he's still taking it hard..."

Reeve shook his head. "He's still in the shadows, huh? It's not his fault. Everyone she met loved her... She had a lot in line for her, she shouldn't have died, but I'm not saying someone else should have."

"I know what you mean. She was an angel... Cloud's angel." She gave him a small smile, and a flood of bittersweet memories tugged at her heart. Those past moments hurt more than she thought they would. "Besides, it's true. They do belong to each other."

He opened his mouth to say something but closed it again as if changing his mind. "Hey, Tifa... I- I'm sorry."

"Huh? For what?" Was this apology for an offence she had long forgotten or something she had never really minded? "Reeve, if it's for being late, it's really okay. What matters is that you're here now."

She met his eyes and she can't help notice how they show the very feeling of guilt that had troubled her only a few months back. "You know I've said a lot of stupid things, the fortune telling-"

"All of us had said and done a number of foolish things in the past." Her eyes settled on the floor as if they were too shameful to meet his. "I'm one to talk. I lied, kept things from you all and almost made someone lose his mind, in case you forgot."

Reeve didn't say anything, but she knew he was aware of what she was talking about.

Tifa met his gaze once again and found a kindred light in his eyes. She allowed a small smile to touch her lips. "It's alright, Reeve. I never minded it" much "so let's start putting things where they belong. Past is past, it's time for us to move on."

The two friends remained quiet after that, both of them truly satisfied with each other's understanding and company. The silence between them wasn't awkward; no word was needed to assure them of the other's request to be understood and forgiven...

Author's Notes: Reeve always struck me as an interesting character, and it really is such a shame that very few fanfics (back when I first wrote this) shed any light on him. Did you like how I portrayed Reeve? ) Anyway, thank you again for reading! Reviews, comments, suggestions and critiques are greatly appreciated.


	4. 4 Things are not Always What They Seem

Disclaimer: Sony and SquareSoft's Final Fantasy 7 characters and locations were used in this story for non-profitable purposes. No infringement intended. 

Shades of Gray  
Part Four: Things are not Always What They Seem  
24 hours after the conversation with Reno

Happiness is the consequence of being satisfied with what fate gives someone. It is reliant on being contented with the simple things in life. It is quite simple to be truly happy, yet only a handful of us know how- not because we cannot be happy, but because we continue yearning for something someone else has, probably something we can never have. And more often than not, our envy overshadows the reason for contentment, and we chase after a ghost of what we want to make our own. Only the children are spared from this melancholy because of their innocence, the trait that allows them to see beyond the have-nots the adults have created.

It had only been a couple of days or so since Tifa accepted Barret's request, and yet, the large pile of gifts by the Christmas tree never ceased to astonish her. She flashed a welcoming smile at the next child in line, pointedly ignoring all the stares of the young men hanging around the area. She had only been here for no more than half an hour, and already, eight creeps had asked her out. Her hands unconsciously balled into fists, and she failed to notice it even if her nails had dug into her skin.

"Easy, Tifa. That frown would send anyone running away, not only those losers." Tifa gave her companion a sidelong glance, mildly annoyed at her friend's tardiness. Elena ignored that look and went on speaking. "You know, those eyes of yours could kill."

"Wonder if it would work on them..." Tifa mumbled quietly, causing Elena to laugh lightly.

"Really now, should we be talking about killing people with little children around?" She shook her head slightly, causing her blonde mane to sway from side to side, "Though, come to think of it, a year ago, Yuffie was with you and that never did stop us from trying to kill each other, right?"

"Heck, she'd flip if she heard you referring to her as a kid. It's bad enough Cid and Barret call her kiddo or brat." She halted briefly, remembering something. "And there was a time when we didn't try to wring each other's throats. In Wutai?"

Elena held up a hand in protest and Tifa squelched a smile upon seeing the indignant expression on her friend's face. "If it's about Corneo, please change the topic!" Her nose crinkled in distaste, and her complexion turned a dangerous shade of red. "I would have broken his legs if I wasn't tied up and all!"

Tifa laughed and raised an eyebrow. Thanks to Elena, her mood had lightened up. "And I thought you wanted to change the topic?"

Elena rolled her eyes. "Gawd, you're starting to sound like Reno." 'And you're starting to speak like Yuffie,' Tifa thought, with a twinge of irony. "Speaking of the Jerk, last week before my dinner with Rude, he had the nerve to actually lock me out of their apartment!" Yeah? Anyone could expect that of Reno. "But I can't really blame him, that's just the way Reno is, I guess."

Tifa wasn't quite sure about that one. "Maybe... Oh, I don't know." The frustration was evident on her face, "I'm just not good in reading people, never have been." She paused awkwardly for a moment, when a thought crossed her mind to break the silence. "Anyway, I heard you already got two people to fill the... open places?" A group of "Santa's Helpers" were caught helping themselves to the giveaway candies and gifts and promptly fire by Barret, which left a gaping hole in his workforce at a very, very inconvenient time.

Elena grimaced, brushing back strands of blond hair from her face. "Oh, them... I think I made a huge mistake! Imagine getting an incompetent jerk and an indolent businessman..."

"I'm sure they're not as bad as they sound... I mean, look at Barret... Marlene would be so surprised."

Elena chuckled softly. "Barret Wallace, the Santa Claus." Her dark eyes sparkled with bold merriment, but it disappeared almost as quickly as Tifa had seen it. "Do you think it's a good idea, to show Marlene that her dad is Santa Claus when he really isn't? Won't it ruin her vision of the real Santa Claus?"

"Marlene is a bright girl. I believe she already knows the Santas she sees in the malls and in television shows aren't the real one." Tifa explained, recalling a time when the two of them were watching a Christmas advertisement and Marlene made Tifa promise to tell her dad that she caught him putting gifts under the tree, once. "When she sees her dad as Santa, she'd be more than delighted to know that her father helped all these hopeful kids."

"Tifa, is that really you speaking? No offence meant, but... Dang, I wish I could sound as wise as you!" Elena went on about how Rude and Reno rarely listened to half of what she says, how Barret went ballistic whenever she mentioned the phrase: "you should have," how the ice cream man habitually gave her chocolate flavoured ice cream instead of the vanilla she had asked for...

She pretty much tuned out what Elena was saying after she heard the part about the ice cream man. For some reason, the growing line of children was much more interesting than what her friend was saying. Too bad for Elena, but Tifa was not in a listening mood.

"... That man is so dense! I mean, when would he possibly reveal his feelings?" Elena waited expectantly, and Tifa came out of her reverie, too late to understand the question.

She shrugged, unable to speak for quite some time. "Rude's bound to tell you he loves you, maybe even sooner than you think." If Elena had been talking about a guy, there was a big chance she had been talking about her boyfriend, right?

Elena playfully slapped Tifa on her shoulder. "Tifa, I wasn't asking about Rude!" Oops. "I was talking about Cloud."

"Cloud?" Tifa could only echo dumbly. Elena mentioning Cloud in a conversation was not something that happened everyday.

"Yes, Cloud." Elena stressed the last word, putting a much-needed emphasis on their friend's name. "When will he come out into the open? When will he tell you how he feels?"

All the colour faded from Tifa's face. "Come on Elena, you and I both know there's nothing for him to say! Cloud only thinks of me as a friend."

"Are you sure that's how he really feels?" Elena prodded, frowning and appearing to be deep in thought. "Because I'm positive I can see something else lurking behind those eyes. You may not know it, but that doesn't mean he doesn't feel anything for you. Don't trust everything you see and don't be paranoid about what you don't see. Things are not always what they seem."

Before Tifa could react, Elena glanced at her watch and grimaced. "Hey, I gotta go pick up the supplies Barret asked me to get before he blows up."

With that, Elena said her goodbye and walked off, leaving Tifa with a line full of children and a whole lot of thinking to do.

Author's Notes: So, I guess Elena gets to be the wise one, huh? ) If you all noticed, I tried to depict another side of the FF7 characters (the optimist being depressed, the "hired killer" finding solace in watching snow falling, the "traitor" having friends, the supposed airhead/ditz sounding so wise...) And there are still more to come. )

BTW, I didn't intend for Reno and Elena to be hostile with one another... It just so happens that there are times when you're pissed with a friend, even for the smallest things ... THAT's what's going on with Elena and Reno. They're just having one of the petty squabbles we usually have with our friends. Anyway, we have Tiy to thank for making this part a lot more decent than its original form. She actually fixed it (made it look a lot better too!) after reading the draft with all the head splitting grammar mistakes!

Thank you for reading! Reviews, comments, suggestions and critiques are greatly appreciated )


	5. 5 All in a Day's Work

Disclaimer: Sony and SquareSoft's Final Fantasy 7 characters and locations were used in this story for non-profitable purposes. No infringement intended. 

Shades of Gray  
Part Five: All in a Day's Work  
120 seconds or so following Elena's departure

As the line of children leading to Santa Claus became longer with every moment passing by, Tifa could just watch in amazement as her childhood's icon greeted each and every one of them. But instead of the white bearded jolly old man, it was only her dear friend, grouchy Barret who was sitting on St. Nicholas' chair and wearing a red suit that looked a little too small.

She felt someone pulling on the hem of her miniskirt and Tifa looked down to see a little girl standing in front of her. The child's eyes were as wide as saucers and she was gazing up at her in full admiration. Tifa smiled at her, and knelt down so that she can talk to the kid better.

"Wow, you get to work for Santa!" the little kid exclaimed and Tifa had to laugh. It was strangely warming to see small children enjoying the long-awaited holiday, and it never failed to make Tifa feel a little better knowing she had contributed to putting smiles on their faces.

"Uh-huh, I'm one of Santa's friends." Lying to children was a big no-no especially since Tifa knew they would eventually find out that Santa Claus had existed many years back and that the one greeting them was nothing short of a replica. But there was nothing wrong in hoping and Tifa did not want to ruin the girl's childhood, not when she was still so young. She noticed the girl watching the live herd of deer they had added. "We weren't able to get Rudolph... Too bad."

"It doesn't matter as long as I get to meet Santa." The girl replied, and her comment struck Tifa as that of a matured mind. She followed her gaze and saw she was observing the line of children ahead of her. "Five more to go. I guess I can still wait."

An idea lighted in Tifa's head and she took the little girl's hand in her own. "Hey, why don't we go feed the deer? Maybe they got hungry after all the waiting." She led her to the stable-like place beside the unused sleigh supposedly ridden by the jolly red man. Tifa handed her some food, and hoisted her up the wooden barricade. "You can call me Tifa, by the way. What's your name?"

"Eileen." She squealed, nearly causing Tifa to drop her, as one playful deer nuzzled her neck. "I'm seven years old and my uncle brought me here." Tifa suppressed a frown, wondering where the man was and how he could just leave the girl. "He told me to wait for a moment while he vanished off somewhere, probably to dig some chicks." Tifa laughed softly, realizing how familiar that personality sounded.

She put Eileen down. "So, this uncle of yours-"

"Hey, Eileen, you left your place in line." a familiar voice cut in, and Tifa wasn't given any chance to finish her sentence. She slowly turned around and located Reno nearby, fumbling to light the cigarette poised on his lips, which were already formed into a lopsided grin. "Tifa, you look good." He mumbled as he gave her exposed slender legs a long look, causing Tifa to consider asking if he was drunk this time of the day.

She didn't return the smile. "Umm, hello Reno... You shouldn't be smoking in a place like this." She greeted him hesitantly. She never would have guessed that the blonde little girl was related to him.

"Give it a rest, Tifa." He took a long drag from his cigarette, not heeding her lecture. "Look, with the length of the skirt you wear, these little boys are getting an early education."

An angry flush on her cheeks, Tifa meant to reply but Eileen pre-empted her. "Of course you'd know about short skirts." Eileen scolded him, indignant in the way only a child impersonating an adult could be. "You told me you'd only be gone for two minutes... If Elena finds out you went on with your usual girl-hunting while babysitting me, she'd be really mad at you." Her small hands were on her hips and she appeared so cute, Tifa had to smile. Reno, on the other hand, appeared amused and ready enough to wave off her admonishing.

"Yeah, well, sorry but t'was hard getting this." Tifa looked on with mild curiosity as Reno tossed something in the girl's hand. Eileen gave her uncle a crushing hug before hopping back to her place in the line. The two of them stood in silence for a while, watching the blonde kid show the other kids in line her gift. He beamed. "I guess that did it, eh?"

"So, this niece of yours... Eileen, how did you end up taking her here?" Tifa asked him, curiosity getting the best of her. Reno didn't strike her as the family man type of guy and anyone can't blame Tifa for being inquisitive. An aloof happy go lucky booze-drinking gun-loving EX-Turk, that was the only Reno she'd ever known. "I mean, I never counted upon bumping into you here."

"Yeah? Same here. I didn't think you're the kind of girl that'd work here." He gestured lightly to her costume, then blew a cloud of smoke in her face, as if blowing away her remark. She ended up coughing instead of replying. "Anyway, she aint my niece," He stuffed his hands in his pockets and went on speaking. "I lost a damned poker game with Elena and I didn't want to pay up. Man, if I only knew handling her friggin' sister would be like hell, then I would've gladly given up a little dough!"

"Elena has a sister?" Tifa could not believe chatty Elena never told her and she might never have found out had Reno failed to mention that small fact. But it did feed a suitable enough explanation for her curiosity. "She never told me she had relatives living nearby... What brings you here aside from having to do a small chore? I thought you'd be clever enough to weasel out of the agreement with your girl friend."

He glanced at her, and she caught a flicker of annoyance in his steely aquamarine eyes. "She's not my girlfriend, and I'd be damned if she was." Tifa winced at the remark. From the way he said it, she got the impression that the two didn't really get along as well as she had thought. "I pity Rude... He thinks he's in love with her." Tifa recalled a while ago when Elena told her about her and Rude's second monthsary... Could it be Reno was just, even a little bit, jealous of the time his best friend had been spending with Elena, rather than going with him in their usual bar-escapades?

"Hey, Elena's not that bad, she's just talkative." Tifa defended her friend. "I work with her every single day but I manage to survive."

"Oh right, you do work here. Meeting cute boys, takin' care of li'l ankle-biters and standing around to look good, all in a day's work?" his usual demeanour returned and any hint of his seriousness from a while ago was nowhere to be seen. "Wow, that must be really hard, huh." He remarked sarcastically. "This is perfect for Reeve. He would really love this job..."

She blinked. "Reeve?"

"Uh, he didn't seem to like that bartending job and the manager sure didn't want me," his forehead creased slightly at the recollection, the only outward sign of his irritation. It wasn't his fault he could outdrink all the customers. "So... Elena sorta saved us from being jobless bums this season." Oh. The incompetent jerk and the indolent businessman Elena mentioned would be working with them were Reno and Reeve. Reno leaned forward, observing her face. "Hmm? You don't look too happy to hear I'd be working with you."

"No, no, that's not it. I was just thinking." Elena and Yuffie's yapping nearly drove Barret to near sanity every single day, what more now that his favourite -sarcasm meant- Turk would be joining in?

"Thinking, eh?" Reno frowned, as if appalled by her thoughts. "You know if you think too much, you're bound to lose your mind sooner or later." She tried not to smile. Well, truth be told, no matter how annoying Reno can be, things were going to get livelier with him around.

Before Tifa went home, she picked up the strongest headache medicine she could afford.

Author's Notes: Yeah, well, it's back to Reno... How'd you like Eileen? The chapter? Thank you for reading! ) Reviews, comments, suggestions and critiques are greatly appreciated.


	6. 6 Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Disclaimer: Sony and SquareSoft's Final Fantasy 7 characters and locations were used in this story for non-profitable purposes. No infringement intended. 

Shades of Gray  
Part Six: Actions Speak Louder than Words  
Twelfth of December

9:30 PM - A golden hour for all the regulars of the popular "Indulgence" bar. Most of these patrons were men who wanted nothing more than to forget their problems under a waterfall of alcohol. Obviously, catching even a glimpse of the lovely bartender was an added bonus, but no matter who they were, reality would intrude once again when morning came. Dawn, though, was far away and the nights were left to the absence of memory.

The bar had been closed for a couple of days, but the moment it opened, the regular clients came back. It was packed, as usual, despite being just over two weeks from Christmas. Tifa often wondered why these men would rather squander their money instead of spend some 'quality time' with their family. But maybe like her, they had none to return to... but unlike them, she was smart enough to know that getting wasted was not the answer to her troubles.

"Hey waitresh, gimme mo' beer!" Tifa turned her attention to the man at the furthermost table. She had begun to lose count of how many drinks he'd ordered and already let the waitress know to stop serving him. She ignored the man, hoping he would take the hint and leave.

"Girly, you deaf o' shometing'? I shed I want mo', didn't I!" Tifa said nothing. "Heh, can't hear me, can you? I WANT MORE BEER! I WANT MORE BEER! I WANT MORE BEER!" he chanted loudly while pounding his fists on the table.

Ears ringing from all the ruckus he was creating, she finally marched off to where he was. She narrowed her eyes and placed both hands on her shapely hips. "What's all the noise about? If you have any problems, get out of here!"

"Look, misshy... I know ye own thish bar and all. I'd know shince I own a housh too," her brows raised slightly, but she didn't say anything while he leaned forward and almost went flying to the floor, "But I just ashked fer an'ther round and ya didn't gimme even a shingle bottle."

Tifa pointedly eyed him. "We just ran out of beer." She was lying, but it was for his sake.

"No beer! You... av t'be kidding!" He began gesturing wildly with his arms, like a man waving flies away from his head. "That o'er chicky... y'know her? She just gev a copper o' gem...to those fellows..." Tifa squared her shoulders, determined to get this pathetic drunk out of her bar.

"Sorry, those were the last ones." She apologized, not sounding even the least bit sorry. His face turned as red as a ripe watermelon, and Tifa began to be concerned after a moment passed and still he was staring at her.

"In that cashe..." Tifa could only watch as he circled the table, with a speed unlikely for someone as drunk as he was, and grabbed the nearest bottle of booze, which happened to be in the hand of another man. No more than a second later, a fight had broken up between the two drunkards.

"Hey! HEY! You two settle this outside!" Tifa tried to step between the two men who were heatedly exchanging blows, but ended up having a fist connect to her jaw. "F-"

Everything went silent as an immaculately dressed man, easily towering every other man in that room, stepped into the fight. "Outside. Now." The calm voice interrupted the stunned silence of the room. Tifa spun around, more out of her concern for her bar than the customers, and to her relief, saw a bald man, with a cigarette balanced on his lips, holding a shiny black pistol in one hand. The crowd's response was immediate, a handful would recognize a Turk, but everyone recognized a gun. They all scampered out of Indulgence like rats chased away with a broom.

Tifa looked at her friend's boyfriend and sighed. "I didn't want to get rid of al-" she stopped mid-sentence when she saw him bring up the gun to his mouth. She started to make a grab for it, but ended up inhaling a mouthful of cigarette smoke. That damned "gun" was a lighter. She snatched it from him.

"Uh...Surprise?"

Tifa looked up at him, seeing for the first time that he had disposed of his trademark sunglasses. He had such amazing eyes, gray like the clouds that raced across the heavens during a thunderstorm. Why the heck did he hide them behind those ridiculous shades?

"Haha. Funny, Rude." Tifa rolled her eyes and flashed a sarcastic smile before walking back towards the counter to get ice for her jaw. "But thanks for the help... I can't believe that drunkard was able to punch me!"

He shrugged. "Lucky hit." She motioned for him to take a seat, picking up a rag to wipe off the puddles of alcoholic drinks on the table. "...Thought Elena was here."

Tifa glanced at him. "She was. But she went out with Yuffie." She threw away the piece of cloth and rinsed her hands in the sink. "What would you want? It's on the house."

"Water would be fine." Tifa turned around and looked at him curiously. His face remained emotionless and he had no trouble returning the gaze. "Bad for my stomach."

Right. She hadn't seen this coming. Since when did he stop drinking? "I thought you and Reno are drinking buddies?"

"We are." Rude replied matter-of-factly and Tifa placed a glass of water on the table in front of him, waiting for him to continue. "But he isn't here now, is he?"

Tifa's lips tugged upwards, forming a small smile. "Hey, I see Elena's been doing you good. You're more talkative than, well... ever." His face reddened slightly and Tifa smiled wider, knowing Yuffie would have wanted to have the privilege of seeing Rude blush.

"I guess..." his voice trailed off and he averted his eyes to his glass of water. "I've been around Kalm looking for your bar, 'Seventh Heaven.' I came across 'Indulgence', instead."

Tifa pulled a chair and sat down, shocked that Rude was actually starting a conversation. His question made her mind wander back to her days in Midgar, when Jessie helped out with the customers while Biggs and Wedge made their big plans. But, they were all dead - and so was her 7th Heaven bar, which was buried under the remnants of Sector Seven's plate...

"I decided to leave certain things be... If I had kept my old bar's name, I might probably never be able to let go of the past." She replied after a while.

Rude nodded. "There's no point in hanging on to... painful things," He halted briefly before continuing. "But we always end up keeping them. Forever a part of us."

She stared him and said the question she had wanted to ask for so long. "Rude, why did you join the Turks?"

A grim expression crossed his usually impassive face. "Tseng saved me, like he did Reno and Elena..." He scratched his head, searching for the words to continue. "We repaid the favor, even after he died."

"And you know what happened to Aeris." Tifa added, frowning. "I'm not rubbing it in your face, okay? I just... heck, Christmas wouldn't be quite like Christmas when the death of a loved one is haunting you." She didn't like where this conversation had gone and even Rude was showing signs of discomfort, though his eyes were still focused on his glass.

"Of course..." He glanced it his watch before standing up. "But you know, our past mistakes are over. For all of us." He offered one gloved hand. "Actions speak louder than words."

She wanted to apologize -and to an ex-Shinra, no less. She was even quite sure what for. For letting Tseng die? For giving him and his friends a reason to stay with the Company? Maybe he was right about getting over everything that had happened. She flashed a hesitant smile before nodding. On instinct, her hand reached out towards his.

Rude nodded back and stiffly accepted her handshake before stepping out of her bar. Only then did Tifa realize she still had his gun/lighter. She was about to throw it away, but something stopped her. She'd ask Elena to give it back to him.

Added Author's Notes: This was made BEFORE advent children. Hence, the reference to Tseng's "death." (I really thought he died...)

Original Author's Notes: How'd you enjoy the gun/lighter part? I got the idea after I watched the 6 o'clock news and there was this newscast about a hold-upper who used a gun-lighter to scare a girl. Hehehe, THAT had me laughing. Anyway...

"Past is past, it's time for us to move on..." Tifa's own words from part 3 when she was speaking with Reeve. Any one of you remember that? That was one of the reasons why she named her bar "Indulgence" and not the usual "7th heaven." (BTW, I quoted/paraphrased this "I decided to leave certain things be... If I had kept my old bar's name, I might probably never be able to let go of the past." from Tiy She's such a big help, don't you think?)

Oh and if some of you can't understand what the drunkard was saying, allow me to explain: "o...er chicky" is other chick, "cashe" is "case" while "copper o' gem" is "couple of them"

So... Rude's here, Elena, Reeve, Reno and Barret had all appeared... Who's next? Care to give it a guess? Any of you noticed the concept of time (glancing at the watch) in Elena and Rude's chapters? And that the last 3 chapters had Tifa speaking with the Turks? Haha, drop me a line or something. Liked it, I hope? Reviews, comments, suggestions and critiques are highly appreciated! Thank you very much for reading!


	7. 7 Something Went Wrong Along the Way

Disclaimer: Sony and SquareSoft's Final Fantasy 7 characters and locations were used in this story for non-profitable purposes. No infringement intended. 

Shades of Gray  
Part Seven: Something Went Wrong Along the Way  
A week after the introduction to Eileen

The sky was dark and gloomy; the gods must have made the mistake of bestowing the humans with a weather that certainly didn't match the jovial atmosphere of the Yuletide season. The wind was picking up speed, a blizzard was coming up, all jobs were cancelled for the day and not a single store was open. Christmas shoppers would have to wait- just as the agitated workers would do the same to earn their much-expected Christmas bonuses. It had been like this for the last couple of days...

Nonetheless, this was exactly how Tifa liked it since it went perfectly well with her mood. As the weather seemed out of place, so did she in the middle of the hustle for Christmas preparations. Keeping a brave front and smiling even if she really didn't feel like doing so, she knew there was still more to come and there was no end in sight. Nothing appeared to get her out of her depression, Elena's prodding and nagging didn't do much and Yuffie's comical escapades and gags only left her with more things to do. Not even Reno's out of the ordinary comments made her smile.

"Damn." She muttered, trying to bite back the long string of profanities one could only learn from Cid. The coffee had been too hot and it had burned her tongue; she had been too distracted, thinking too much, that she hadn't noticed that small detail. She had stolen away from the dark recesses of her room, only to end up at her bar, which occupied almost the whole first level of her home.

She lit a candle and looked out the window. The sun had yet risen from its cloudy sanctuary and the dusk hugged the room's shadowy corners, as if to claim them as its own before it would be forced to give them up to the golden rays of sunshine. The shadows licked at her feet, like black flames hungering for something to fuel their rage. Still, the darkness didn't frighten her. In fact, it seemed to soothe the emotional wound a little more than the presence of her friends had.

She had a lot in common with the dark. It was lonely just as she sought for something to fill her emptiness. It reached out only to be feared and left all alone, like how may of those she had loved passed away or left her. The dark existed because of the light, while she lived in the dark, forever lost in it, hoping to find the light. There are times when she'd catch a glimpse of it, only to have it disappear when it was an arm's stretch away.

"Couldn't sleep, I presume?"

Tifa swivelled in her seat, eyes madly darting from left to right. She was almost convinced that she had gone mad from all the thinking, just as Reno had told her then, when she spotted a familiar silhouette standing by the stairs. The darkness could've been melded with him and no one would have noticed.

"Vincent, you scared me." She let out a relieved sigh, clutching one hand to her chest. He stood there for a while before stepping into the dim light and walking to where she was seated. She couldn't help but watch him the entire time.

"...I apologize..." The monotonous tone of voice harmonized with their surroundings.

"No, no, it's okay. I was startled, that's all." She shook her head quickly and stood up, ready to prepare a drink for her friend. Not that she ever saw Vincent drink anything with caffeine or alcohol for that matter... "Come, sit and talk with me for a while. The others wouldn't be up until 3 hours from now." She paused and turned to look at him, taken aback to see that he had accepted her offer. "What would you be having?" Scratch that. Her bartending job wouldn't start until later on in the day. "Coffee? Tea?" Milk? Yeah right. And pigs fly.

"I'm alright, please don't bother." She sat back down on her seat and stared into her mug as if it held the meaning of life. "You look troubled, Tifa."

That was an understatement. "What made you say that?"

He shrugged. "It is not hard to see that something is bothering... a friend."

"I'm just having the blues..." she murmured softly more to herself, as though she was convincing herself to believe her words as well.

"The look in your eyes resemble mine, years ago..." His voice sounded distant, as if his mind had traveled decades back when Hojo had inflicted the greatest pain on him. Tifa's attention settled on her friend and she could only observe this cold, hardened man. She began wondering if she would end up like this when she can't take any more of the cards life was dealing her.

Instead, Tifa smiled. She saw something else inside him, something that bore a resemblance to hope... "You loved Lucrecia, didn't you Vincent?" He looked at her; she stared back, the smile fading from her face. "I know how you feel... I've felt it before."

"Have you?" He looked away, as though the faint traces of moist in the window were the most interesting things on the Planet. "Perhaps that feeling wasn't love... I could have been mistaken. Or maybe both of us had made the same mistake of calling that love...?"

Mistake? Impossible. It wasn't her fault, or his, that it hadn't been mutual. Wouldn't it have been the best experience to feel the same love being returned? Wasn't it a little worse than dying to be denied of the same love they were so willing to give? Unrequited love was the most hurtful thing that could happen to anyone... and she knew because she had undergone it. Tifa could have said all or any of those; instead, she gazed back into her mug and saw a darker, murkier reflection of herself in the dark liquid.

"I thought I loved her... Perhaps, I really did. But something went wrong along the way..." His voice drifted off and he didn't finish whatever he meant to say.

She chuckled softly, not to make fun of his revelation... It was ironic. To have this conversation with someone who barely even spoke a whole paragraph. At a time like this, with the gloomy mood... they made a fine pair. "This is life we're taking about, Vincent. Something always has to go wrong..."

To her surprise, Vincent smiled. And broke into a hearty laugh. "You have been hanging around me for too long." He put his normal hand on top of both of hers. His seriousness returned and no trace of the Vincent she had seen just a while ago was left. "I've wasted precious years sleeping in that coffin... All I can do is to look back at everything with regret."

Tifa met his gaze and gave him a small smile, the only smile she could manage at that moment. "Vincent..."

He gave her hands a gentle squeeze. "But maybe... There's still a chance that it's not too late for you."

At that moment, sunlight filtered through the curtains of the windows, and the shadows crept back to their hiding places. Vincent drew back his hand.

The moment was broken.

Author's Notes: First things first. This happens to be my favourite part (Vincent rocks!) and I dedicate this to everyone reading (and reviewing) my fics. You are my inspiration, I try to write better (well, Tiy helps me with my blunders, and I say she's doing a great job! ) Thanks also to Lee, who helped me out of a depression and anxiety attack. It got so bad that I even considered to stop writing and to start taking down the stories I've posted. But, HEY, I'm here now, am I not? And all thanks to y'all. I shall be writing as long as there would be people reading this.

Some hints of symbolism here and there... Did you get all of them? Hopefully, I was able to keep Vincent as Vincent, even with him laughing and opening up to Tifa.

Oh yeah, this Chapter was inspired by Magnum Opus' "Legacy." (To all those who've read it, I know I don't write even half as well as she does... and this chapter is nothing like any of her works ) FYI, it was the magnificent Magnum Opus who convinced me to post something.

Ok, I won't say anything anymore, might spoil whatever. Just go read Magnum Opus' works (I suggest you read "Dawn" ahead of "Legacy"...) I assure you, it's worth the time! Anyway, thank you all again for reading!


	8. 8 Times Change and so do People

Disclaimer: Sony and SquareSoft's Final Fantasy 7 characters and locations were used in this story for non-profitable purposes. No infringement intended. 

Shades of Gray  
Part Eight: Times Change And So Do People  
The seventeenth night after Barret's invitation

Only a few more days, and it would be Christmas. Marlene would get her surprise, they'd all receive presents from each other and they'd go back their separate ways, leaving Tifa alone... and now, she wasn't sure what she wanted.

At the moment, she was doing rounds in the second floor of her bar, trying to make sense of the chaos her friends had created in the guest rooms. They were out either celebrating or shopping, she supposed. She tried not to be hurt that they hadn't invited her to come along but she couldn't blame them; after all, she had been too distant lately...

Shera's door was locked, and Tifa didn't want to disturb her friend's privacy- or pick the lock just so she could clean up after the her friend's mess. Turning the corner to Elmyra's room, Tifa heard faint tapping noises coming from across the hall. She froze midstride, straining to catch the sound. It came again, a definite pounding from the next room, and Tifa edged down the narrow hallway. Wielding her broom like Cloud would his Ultima Weapon, she kicked the door open, hoping for an element of surprise.

Her thief, face ghost white, shrieked and dropped whatever were in her arms. "Oh gawd, Tifa! Are you trying to scare me to death!"

The broom dropped to the floor and Tifa could only watch Yuffie as she scrambled madly to cover up the things that were scattered on her bed. Tifa raised an eyebrow and was unable to fight the urge to tease the young ninja. "Been borrowing Marlene's stuff animals again?"

"Tifa, you promised to forget about that!" Yuffie's face flushed and Tifa had to laugh, recalling the time when she had walked in on the young girl 'refining her ninja skills' - with a couple of sharpened pencils and Marlene's stuff animals. "Okay, okay, fine! I'll show you these aren't any of Marlene's toys." She threw her hands up in the air and exposed the stuff that she had been trying to hide. There were scissors, a roll of adhesive tape, some bits and pieces of paper, larger sheets of colourful paper...

For a moment, Tifa was speechless and the only thing she could do was to smile at her friend. "Yuffie, that's so sweet of you!" The young ninja had been gift-wrapping her Christmas presents for them. "Do you need any help? I mean, since I have nothing to do, maybe I could cut the ribbon or something."

"Will ya?" She held up a hand, which was red with paper cuts. "And that's just from yours!" Yuffie sat back down on the bed and patted the spot next to her. "Just don't tell Cloud and the others what I'm gonna give them, alright?"

"My lips are sealed." Tifa took the largest box but Yuffie quickly snatched it away from her hands. Tifa suppressed a sigh, seeing the girl's true personality coming through. "Yuffie, how am I going to help if you won't even let me hold the packages?"

"No, you don't understand! You have to be extra careful with this!" her friend was hugging it to her chest as if protecting it from Tifa's clutches. "You see, this has a laptop inside..."

Tifa blinked. "Laptop?" Isn't that a bit expensive for a gift? And to whom would she be giving it to? Marlene was definitely too young for it and Tifa doubted if Red could type with his paws... A frown unconsciously settled on her face as she tried to think of someone who would want a computer...

Yuffie set it down on the bed, regaining her composure. "Hey, you're so mean!" What? "I know what you're thinking!" She did? "I didn't steal anything from anyone this time. I sold MY mastered All material just so I could buy all these stuff including Reeve's laptop!"

"I didn't say anything." Tifa held up her hands in surrender, holding back her amusement at Yuffie's confession. "I was just thinking that a laptop was a bit too much," She saw how Yuffie's face turned into a deep shade of red, and she was unable to push aside the thought that jumped in her mind. "Yuffie?"

"Uh, err..." she scratched her head, making a mess of her short black mane. "You know how I borrowed certain stuff from you all... And it so happened I misplaced some of Cait's materia." Yuffie tried a hopeful grin but Tifa knew that wasn't the end of her 'tale.' "Actually, I lost all his materia. This," she gestured towards the laptop, "is my conscience kicking in."

And here, Tifa thought Yuffie had a crush on Reeve. "Come to think of it, I haven't gotten him anything yet..." A twinge of guilt forced Tifa to let the sentence hang. How could she have forgotten?

Yuffie appeared deep in thought, and the two of them were enveloped in silence, which was weird since Tifa had never before associated that word with the bubbly ninja. "I know!" She suddenly exclaimed, causing Tifa to jump a little in surprise. "Why don't you buy him a ring?"

Yes, buying Reeve a ring would be a brilliant idea. Why not get Reno an iron? Or give Cloud a comb? Or buy Barret a treadmill? "Umm, what made you think he would want a ring?"

"I dunno, it's the 'in' thing nowadays." Yuffie shrugged. "Everyone's wearing one, even Shera-"

"Maybe it's an engagement ring-"

Yuffie snorted upon hearing what Tifa said. "Sure, Cid would just do that." The remark was dripping with sarcasm. "I mean, come on, Cid's Cid... I can't quite imagine him dropping on one knee, much more proposing. But then of course, he could change. After all, times change and so do people."

"Maybe." Tifa shrugged, her face darkening. "Maybe not. Life is life, it's pretty unpredictable." It was hard for her to keep the bitterness out of her voice.

Yuffie stared at her like she had gone crazy. "You know, one philosophical type is way more than enough for this crew. Jeez, what's with the Mr. I-must-atone-for-my-sins impersonation?"

"Vincent's a very smart man, you'd know if you take time to spend even a few minutes with him." Tifa told her younger friend, who just shook her head.

"I didn't say he was stupid - or even that I disliked him. He's just more than a little weird..." Tifa didn't say anything and Yuffie swallowed hard before continuing. "What I mean is, Vinnie's the dark broody one. Not you." She averted her eyes to the floor, stretching her legs onto the bed. "Soooo... you gonna tell me what's wrong?"

What's there to say? That she had been depressed and frustrated and wanted to take out her resentment on every blond guy that came within sight? Yeah. Sure... Maybe, though, it was time to reach out for help - even just a little. "I don't know... We're all together, and I should be glad," she glanced at Yuffie, whose wide eyes were focused solely on her, "But after New Year's, everyone'll be gone. I guess... I just don't want to be alone."

"Aww, Tifa..." Yuffie practically jumped into her friend's arms. "We'd still be friends! I'll visit you, and you know you're always welcome in Wutai! If you want, I'll even come here in person to give you your birthday gift."

"Thanks Yuff, but a gift isn't necessary." She shook her head, relieved that she could count on some people only to change for the better. "Speaking of gifts, have you thought of what Reeve might want?" Tifa smiled brilliantly at her friend.

Yuffie matched that smile before rolling her eyes. "Oh I give up! It'll come to you anyway." Her expression lightened and that devilish gleam came back into her eyes. "Wanna see what I bought for Vinnie?" Before Tifa could say anything, Yuffie was rummaging through the pile of things on her bed and finally pulled out a paper bag.

"Armani Exchange?" Tifa read the label, and with Yuffie's permission, peeked inside to see Vincent's present. "Uh..."

"I just thought it's about time he changed his outfit." She shrugged, still beaming. "I think black's his color, and the maroon tie would bring out the wonderful colour of his eyes- Hey, you have the same eyes!" She whipped the tie out of the bag and held it against Tifa's face. "Anyway, what do you think?"

Tifa couldn't help but smile as well. Vincent in a long-sleeved, button-down shirt with a tie- this was one of those sights which would no doubt make Cid laugh his head off. But then again, all of them, save for Vincent, had already donned different attires. This change would probably do Vincent good- he'd be intimidating and scaring away fewer people. "I'm sure he'd look fine in it."

Yuffie punched her lightly on one arm. "Tifa! Don't tease!"

"I am not! I think it's great. Really." Yuffie's facial expression was still disbelieving so Tifa put her hands in the air, hoping to escape the situation. "Really!" Her gaze lighted on the broom on the floor. "You know, you scared me to death earlier."

"Shouldn't I be saying that?" Yuffie made a face, distractedly tracing the floral patterns on her bed with her fingers. "I didn't think you'd be home."

"I was just doing some cleaning-"

Yuffie interrupted with a gagging gesture. "Boring! You don't clean on holidays!" Tifa laughed, a sound that secretly relieved Yuffie. "Stay with me and let's talk about everything! Well- I also need help with all these." She spread her arms towards the stuff on her bed. "Please?"

Tifa stopped laughing and smile brightly "You don't have to ask, Yuffie."

Original Author's Notes: ) Well Kimetara, seems like you got what you were asking for in one review. Here's Yuffie for you.

Again, let me give credit where credit is due. This one came out fine because of our dear friend Tiy (I thank you with all the orange juice and crab sticks in our fridge...).

I could not put my gratitude into writing (which is weird, since I am supposedly a writer and I should be familiar with quite a number of words); the reviews and the emails were a joy to read, I'm glad you like this. As I wrote in an email a couple of days ago, I will continue this story because I've already started it... And it IS fun writing and receiving feedbacks and comments from people. Thank you for helping me get my muse back.

Anyway, I think this is the longest chapter so far. I had a really difficult time with this part, but don't get me wrong, writing Yuffie was really fun! I just didn't know where the conversation was going (LOL, even the Armani Exchange part!) and where the story was headed...

BTW, I know Tifa is a fistfighter. A trained martial artist wouldn't be caught "wielding a broom" but she WAS cleaning the house, right? ) Might as well use it? Haha, I thought that would be funny... Tell me what you think?

Oh, and I need help with the Tifa's Christmas presents... it has to be real fitting, I mean. Like Yuffie's laptop for Reeve, and the top and tie for "Vinnie," you get what I mean? ) Tifa would be giving things to Cloud, Barret, Marlene, Red, Yuffie, Reeve, Vincent, Cid, Shera, Elmyra, Reno, Rude and Elena. Feel free to leave it in reviews or email me at sodacolapop AT yahoo DOT com.

Added Disclaimer: I don't own Armani Exchange. Being unhealthily thrifty, I don't even own a single article of clothing from Armani!  
7-24/26-02


	9. 9 Just One Wish

I don't normally start off with an Author's Note but then I just thought that I had to do this... First things first... An apology is given if and only if it is owed. And this author is apologizing to all those reading her works of doom... 

I'm really, REALLY sorry for 'disappearing' for a little over two months... I had some problems with our computer, I didn't think it would have gotten this long (but it DID --')... And to think it all started with the computer crash... I was honestly about to post this one last August 31 after my brother used the computer but it was already late in the night (around eleven, I think FYI, I'm an early sleeper) so I decided to sleep... And, yeah, when I woke up the next day, the computer wouldn't start out and it so happened that my brother somehow deleted the entire Windows 2000 thingees (I'm still wondering how he did it...)

Enough excuses, on with the fic.

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Disclaimer: SquareSoft and Sony's Final Fantasy VII characters and locations were used in this story for non-profitable entertainment purposes. No infringement intended.

Shades of Gray  
Part Nine: Just One Wish  
Shortly after speaking with Yuffie

Humming softly, Tifa allowed a small smile to grace her lips as she slowly made her way down the flight of steps of her home. Her home. Funny that Kalm was now "home" and Nibelheim was just that place where she once lived. Her Nibelheim didn't exist anymore - nothing there was left but an imitation, a set piece for some two-bit theatre. She could never imagine herself staying there, having to live there with the ghosts of the past and the phantoms of an empty future; one of the two was enough, right now.

The unwelcomed thoughts were quickly overshadowed by more pleasant ones - Christmas, presents, her chat with Yuffie... That was a lot like finding a sanctuary, a place where it was alright to act like a little kid, again. And for Tifa, this was one reason to be thankful for...

Having committed to memory the positions of every piece of furniture, Tifa did not even bother to flick on the lights to manoeuvre the bar; the house was a part of her, after all. As she passed by the aged piano that was gathering dust in one corner of the living room, she caught the red glow of the digital clock -it read close to one o'clock in the morning- and still, the others had not come back from their shopping... The paranoid side of Tifa was screaming that something must have happened to them, but the more rational side pushed to the front of her mind, keeping her calm. They were all probably caught in the Holiday rush - served them right, really, for waiting until the last minute to buy presents.

She sat down on the black leather couch and switched on the T.V. The door leading to the bar had been temporarily padlocked since Tifa was to close Indulgence in exchange for a few weeks of quality time with her friends. Anyone entering the house would have to pass through the side door, and she'd be able to see them from the living room.

Less than half an hour into the movie, she found herself awfully bored, with an unsettled mind and an upset stomach due to all her worrying. For her sanity's sake, Tifa reached for the remote control and switched off the television, revelling in the soothing tranquillity until she heard the sound of a key being fitted in the lock.

Tifa glanced up to see a silhouette of someone who, despite a heavy jacket and hat, was profusely shivering. The packages the person had been carrying earlier were now left forgotten on the floor while he rubbed his frozen -and uncovered, Tifa noted with exasperation- hands together.

"Reeve." Her voice rang out in the quiet house, and Reeve was visibly startled. His head whipped around as though hunting for a hidden assailant, but he recovered just as quickly. Masking his sheepish expression, he managed to give her a stiff nod as a means of acknowledging her presence.

"Tifa... didn't you ever consider moving to Costa del Sol?" He asked dryly, gathering his belongings and setting them against the wall before taking a seat beside her. "It hasn't snowed in days, but it's still freezing!"

Tifa laughed softly, shaking her head at her friend's silliness. "It's much cooler around Icicle Inn. Don't you remember?"

Reeve shrugged, glancing over. "Umm... I really wouldn't know, I was using Cait Sith then. Don't you remember?" He mimicked, his lips able to hold a teasing half-smile now that they weren't shaking.

She picked up a magazine and chucked it at him; it missed. They laughed together lightly, enjoying the company and warmth. "Well, Kalm is good enough for me. What were you doing out so late anyway?"

"Shopping for you guys-" he sneezed once, "... and myself as well-" And again. Tifa shoved a box of tissues under his nose, which he took gratefully.

"Bless you." Tifa said, swallowing any laughter. She, for one, hated crowds and felt mildly unsympathetic for what he'd put himself through by waiting so long to hit the stores. "I won't ask what you got the others -it's a surprise and all- but, what did you get yourself? Didn't think one of Santa's elves bought their own gifts." She couldn't refrain from teasing, but Tifa was inwardly beaming at the perfect opportunity that had presented itself to her- no need to guess what he wanted anymore.

"Some... stuff." He dabbed a crumpled piece of tissue on his nose. "That might help with some mechanical problems on Cait. And some bacon and steak." Tifa raised an eyebrow; he noticed. "I'm allergic to chicken."

Really? Another little thing she never knew... "You never told me that."

"'Cause you never asked?" he offered, shrugging.

She knew him well enough to trust him with every single secret she had, apart from the one concerning Cloud -or maybe even that one. But in reality, she barely knew anything about him, nor did he know much about her... "Well, I bet you didn't know that I actually enjoy cooking. You should have told me, it's no bother fixing you a... a..." her voice trailed off while her hands gestured lightly to fill in the blank.

"An un-chicken meal...?" Reeve suggested, and the two of them ended up chuckling softly at the poor attempt at humour. He regained his composure first. "I'd appreciate that. Though, just knowing that I have a friend who would actually care enough to do that is enough to keep me happy for a while."

"Happy?" Wasn't that a little vague?

Reeve nodded with energy. "Yes... my life is great, and to see my friends enjoying the same kind of lifestyle and being content with their lives..." He gave her a small smile before averting his eyes to the blank television in front of them. "But that last part could never really happen... Once lives are ruined, nothing would be the same..." He was probing her, gently and with the skill and subtlety of a Shinra executive, but it was still a probe nonetheless. Part of him had to know if she was that same lost girl in the train... "People can't get back what they've lost no matter how much they cry."

Tifa frowned, realizing that their conversation had been stirred back into the themes of bitterness and resentment. A chill ran down her spine and she couldn't quite stop herself from thinking that maybe the spirits of those who had perished during the fight against Sephiroth were all here, that the gloom that hung in the air like some invisible blanket of death was their way of reminding the survivors the mistakes that were committed in the past... Or maybe, just maybe, this was there way of trying to exist even if it meant to be considered as a nightmare that plagued the mind...

"No matter how much we want to, we can never change the past..." Tifa sombrely agreed and out of nowhere, Reeve started chuckling with a shake of his head. "Hmm?"

"Nothing." He turned to look at her. "Take it easy, all these are part of life... But that's why Christmas is here. Of all the times to be unwaveringly miserable, this is not it. Besides, it just doesn't suit you, Tifa."

Tifa's eyes strayed towards his direction for a second before being transfixed once again on the television set. She was looking at it, intently, though it was nothing more than a blank screen. Reeve hesitated, afraid that he had overstepped his bounds as a friend, but though it didn't show, her sole attention was on him.

"They say," Reeve continued, trying a different track, "That Christmas is the time of the year to wish for something that isn't only for yourself..." He cleared his throat, the noise resounding in the silent room. "If the Planet was to grant me just one wish..." His voice trailed off and the cheerful disposition was replaced by one of longing.

"And that would be?" Tifa asked, engrossed, her voice barely above a whisper.

He just smiled wistfully. "For everyone to be happy..." Tifa couldn't help the wave of disappointment from subduing her. Maybe he'd figure out, someday, that he could trust her the way she trusted him. "What about you, Tifa?" She caught him stifling a yawn. "What would you wish for?"

"Snow." Reeve appeared puzzled and she had to smile. "You said it yourself, it hasn't snowed in days... The children can't wait to build their snowmen -though, I think adults enjoy the snowball fights more than the kids do. And you," she laughed softly, "You must know why I love it so much."

Tifa stood up gingerly, testing a leg that had fallen asleep. "Come on, it's getting late... We both can't stay up waiting for the others-"

"Actually, I'm the last one in." Reeve politely interrupted with a smile. It was Tifa's turn to look sheepish - she and Yuffie must have been too absorbed in their conversation that they failed to notice the arrival of their friends. "I was with them at the mall earlier, Marlene was exhausted so I made them go ahead..." Another yawn.

Tifa laughed, eyes glittering with a strange combination of tiredness and amusement. "How generous of you. Now, go to bed before I carry you there."

He snuggled deeper into the cushions, letting out another quiet yawn. "Is that a promise?"

Tifa stood there for a moment, thinking, and -with an exceptional show of impulsiveness- grabbed hold of his arm, pulled him to his feet in a blink of an eye and broke into a run, and being dragged away, Reeve had no choice but to follow. Halfway to the stairway, she let go of him and broke into a laughing fit as she watched a surprised Reeve collapse to the polished wooden floor.

"Haha. Very funny." He muttered under his breath as he struggled to stand up. He tried to take hold of her hand but she quickly skipped a few feet away, just beyond his reach.

"Last one up is a rotten egg!" Tifa shouted as loud as she dared without waking up any of their friends. She teasingly stuck out her tongue before disappearing into the dark, her faint outline the only thing showing Reeve that she was still there by the stairway- He jumped to his feet and pursued the chase... Man, the two of them like this must have been a sight to behold...

Reeve, for his part, could only decide that she wasn't that lost girl on the train. Or rather, not anymore...

Author's Notes: YES we're back to Reeve. I just realized that since most fanfics leave li'l Reeve out of the stories, I decided to give him a little taste of the limelight.

If any of you think it's a bit weird for Tifa to suddenly play around like a little child, let me remind you guys that she just finished speaking with Yuffie. Giddiness and silliness rub off on people just how sadness could 'infect' others. )

Oh, I just feel like I've been away for so long and I think I've forgotten how most things function around here... But, yeah, gotta call some people's attentions (I owe them an explanation or two...)

Amanda: mah friend, how have you been? I realized that it had been a long time since I last opened my scatterbrain email ad... So, yeah, I did realize how long it had been since we last talked... Gomen for disappearing just like that...

Kimetara: Dude, sorry I wasn't able to email you and everything, guess I still owe ya one... And I'm also sorta lagging (Just finished your two-part CloTi but I have yet reviewed it, and about your Jade... Heh, gotta go catch the next chapters, huh? I still haven't read the latest chapters of your Vincent/Tifa... As I've said, I have a lot of catching up to do...)

Lee: You changed your pen name, right? Faerie Wings if I'm correct... Heh... You seem to be forgetting that you still have to write me a mail... Or is it my turn already? scratches head

Magnum Opus: Due to my limited internet access the last couple of weeks/months, I accidentally sent you a lot of junk mail... So sorry for that! Surfing the net in our library is tiring--- you have to constantly check if the 'computer break' is coming soon or you have to stand and wait for a long time before you could use a computer... Excuses, excuses... I still owe you a mail, babe.

Persuasive Intelligence: Hey pal, not sure if you're reading this... :D what the heck, I'll go on anyway... I think you changed your pen name to green something (if I'm correct, if not, feel free to bonk me on the head) but that's not the point. The story we are supposedly working on, I'm supposed to be writing the next one, right? I am restarting it since I wasn't able to salvage what I have finished... I hope I'm not irritating you or something, but bad things just keep happening to me... and so I'm sorry.

Samantha: Thank you for sending the ideas for the Christmas Presents! I wasn't able to thank you enough but words can't really express my gratitude.

Tiy: Soulmate, whatever happened to you? Haven't heard from you in a long time... I'll let you in on the details soon, ok? V

Zelda6: just wait, my friend, and we shall all be Blasted to Nibelheim The drawings are a-coming!

LAST BUT CERTAINLY NOT THE LEAST, to the READERS: Thank you for taking time to read this chapter! I'd love to know what you think of this one Comments, suggestions and other forms of reactions are always welcome, please feel free to drop it in the review box or email me at sodacolapop AT yahoo DOT com

'Till next time! c",


	10. Interludes One and Two

Hmm, ironic that I said in the previous chapter "I don't normally start off with an Author's Note..." and here I am, writing yet another one... Hehe, sorry if you think I 'talk' too much (I ramble BEFORE I present the Chapter itself, and I ramble some more after you guys have finished it...BTW, THE PART AFTER THIS IS NOT A RAMBLE ) 

BEFORE ANY OF YOU WOULD MOVE ON TO THE CHAPTER ITSELF, PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT THIS IS AN INTERLUDE.

Yep, yep... A bit weird that I have an interlude when I don't even have a prologue (Now wait a minute- Do you REALLY need a prologue to have an interlude or an epilogue?) Whatever. I just want to shed some light on my concept on 'friendship.'

Certain bonds can never be broken, it is proven even in our Chemistry class (can't get away from Chem even if I'm in college... DANG!) And most of the time, there are really no words to describe such a relationship because more often than not, the beautiful things in this world are those that we could never merely simplify; we can never really put them into words or into writing... But I'll do my best in this chapter. Please bear with me.

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Disclaimer: SquareSoft and Sony's Final Fantasy VII characters and locations were used in this story for non-profitable entertainment purposes. No infringement intended.

Shades of Gray  
Interlude One: Silent Gratitude and Things that are more Important than Dreams

The virgin snow covered everything under its pure white mantle that those in sight were akin to mere scribbles on an artist's almost blank canvas. The picture that came to mind was that of peace- all was well and all was content. And to most people's delight, Christmas was coming. It was a perfect portrait only the gods could have created...

Apollo had barely begun riding his sun chariot across the cerulean sky and yet, the town was bustling with numerous activities. There were groups of Christmas shoppers trudging over here, and some others over there; an entrepreneur trying to sell his wares to a passerby while the mall attendants were busy opening up... And in Indulgence, a lone figure steps out of her room, all dressed up and prepared to face the freezing breath of the December wind.

The hallway blinds kept all traces of light from entering this pleasant home, shrouding it in a hazy kind of darkness and adding a gloomy touch to the immediate surroundings. Nonetheless, it had a contradicting effect -depressing shadows existing with the light and warmth only friendship and love could bring. Ironically, for Tifa, the dark was a fitting companion; it comforted her through silence, calmed her unbridled paranoia and gave her time to think things over. Still, she'd never -ever- choose it over any of her friends...

Halfway down the stairs, a soft but distinct chain of melody flowed from the living room, filling Tifa with warmth that she could only recognize as the sense of nostalgia. Her relaxed walking turned into hurried steps as she allowed her curiosity to get the better of her. And there she saw the sight that would soften even the cold heart of the most compassionless man.

Two figures were seated side-by-side, one noticeably much smaller than the other. The bigger one, Tifa's dear friend, Cid Highwind, was playing the piano. The very same callused hands that wielded the powerful Venus Gospel were now caressing the black and white ivories with the light and passionate touch of a proud father holding his child. His fingers lightly stroked the keys, creating music for his lone audience, Marlene Wallace.

Mesmerized by the beauty of what she was seeing and hearing, Tifa watched quietly, not daring to announce her presence or make some noise that would only break the mood. Standing by the bar, concealed in the shadows, she continued drenching her soul in the beauty of the hobby that she had long abandoned and had almost forgotten... But just as suddenly as she had been spellbound by the alluring tune, it stopped. And she couldn't have been more disappointed.

"That- That was beautiful Cid." Tifa said as soon as she found her voice. She walked over to her friends and gave them both a bright smile, gently patting the little girl's head.

"Yes, Uncle Cid can play the piano really well!" Marlene enthusiastically nodded her head in agreement with her favorite aunt, bouncing her brown curls up and down. She turned around and looked at Tifa with her wide chocolate eyes. "I had a nightmare that somebody was robbing your house, Aunt Tifa. And I woke up when I heard someone walking in the hall, but I saw that it was only Uncle Cid."

Cid let out a short bark of laughter that was loud enough to surprise anyone. "Da li'l kid gave me quite a scare earlier. I thought a ghost snuck up on me!"

Marlene shook her head, waving an admonishing finger under the pilot's nose. "There are no ghosts, Uncle Cid! We could have seen even one already if they are real."

"Oh?" Cid's forehead creased as if deep in thought, but then managed to give Tifa a sly wink when Marlene wasn't looking. "So then, der're no tooth fairies...?" The little kid shook her head. "No... monsters under da bed?" Again, she shook her head 'no.' "Then, der're no angels?" This earned him a giggle from the six year old.

"You're silly, Uncle Cid. Of course there are angels!"

Tifa couldn't help but wonder how Marlene came to differentiate angels from what she had concluded as the nonexistent others. "You've met an angel?"

Marlene's earnest expression couldn't keep Tifa's smile from widening. "Not really, Aunt Tifa. But I feel them around me, and I meet people that are like angels... Unlike the tooth fairy- I know it's just Papa putting gils under my pillow. Or the monster under the bed- those are just trash I hid from Papa... And ghosts... Well, I know that when people die, they return to the Planet."

It was hard to believe that such wisdom could come from a child... But it just did.

"Wow, and yer Papa taught ya all dat?" Cid, who was obviously impressed and for one reason or another also appeared very tired, asked Marlene.

"Uh-huh... He also taught me how to read books." She answered him with a smile beaming with pride. "Hey Uncle Cid, could you teach me how to play the piano, too?"

"Sure thing..." He stifled a yawn. "But probably when ya get a little older and taller. Then, ya can reach da foot pedal..." He stood up and stretched his arms high over his head- stopping all of a sudden and scowling at the little girl. "Hey, hey- I've done half of our deal, playin' da piano. Now go finish yer cereal. Der are a bloody number of people out der who starve to death-"

"Yes, Uncle Cid, I promise you I wouldn't waste any food." The little girl obediently got down on the floor, with little help from Tifa and Cid, before disappearing into the kitchen. As soon as Marlene left the two of them, Tifa gave Cid a heartwarming smile.

"Oh that was beautiful, Cid!" she wasn't able to stop herself from jumping into her friends arms and hugging him tight. "I mean, that short music was lovely -you played it wonderfully! And Marlene absolutely loved you! You're just so good with kids- And I didn't know you played the piano!" Words escaped flew from her mouth in rapid succession, barely giving her any time to breath.

He readily returned her embrace, his sleepy cobalt eyes meeting her ruby ones. "Oh, jeez, t'was nothing!" he grinned at her. "If ya must know, I even know how to play da goddamned flute! Man, I was trying out for da darned orchestra when I first met Shera-"

"Orchestra...?" Tifa pulled away from his embrace, searching his stubble-lined face for any signs of teasing or whatever. There was nothing but the distinct twinkle in his eyes. "First the piano, now the orchestra... Cid Highwind, you are just full of surprises!"

"Now wait till ya here more." He withdrew his arms around her, sat back down and patted the empty space beside him. Tifa willingly joined him. "I was really into music when I was much younger... And ya know when people get all damned obsessed right? Ya go to all those mambo-shmambos... And then on da night of one of my friggin' tryouts, der were just too many things happening in da backstage. I damn hafta step out into da back door to get some breath of fresh air- But, hell, I saw dat der was also someone with me... And then, I saw da most beautiful thing on dis planet-"

"Shera?" Tifa eagerly asked him, interested in hearing the tale of love her friend never once brought up.

"H- hell no!" Cid turned red, sputtering out the words as if they left some bad taste in his mouth. "I was talking about da moon fer crying out loud! Well... Ya got some part of it right, da person out der wit' me was Shera... But at dat time, it was da moon I fell in love with..."

Absentmindedly smiling at the pilot's words, Tifa stared at her blurry reflection on the polished wooden floor as if it could understand the things that were on her mind. "Hey Cid, I just wanted to ask if- If... Have you ever truly forgiven Shera for what she did to you?"

A period of silence ensued, neither one of them actually cherishing the sudden stillness of the other. The lively songs of the chirping birds and the sounds of Marlene's eating seemed too distant, too far away for either one of them to think of for the moment. It was as though the question had welcomed them down a long hallway of memories.

"It's only human to make mistakes, Tifa." Cid's voice was soft yet distinct enough to hear. His eyes were fixed on his worn-out bedroom slippers, and even though they held the same mischievous spark anyone would ever see from the loud pilot, Tifa could clearly make out the seriousness that he barely let the others see. "I mean, dat looney Sephiroth was a walking disaster, he clearly was a terrible nutcase I tell ya! But ya see, I know it wasn't his entire fault he ruined all of our lives- But, dang, yeah, I do put all da blame on dat bloody walkin' Jenova-head! Dat alien should have just let us all alone..." His voice trailed off, a faraway look in his eyes replacing the short flash of anger.

"But things happen for a reason... Jenova's plan to end da world must have been a blessing in disguise. Look at it dis way, we wouldn't have gotten to know each other if it wasn't up to us to save da Planet, right?"

Tifa nodded, the smile on her face broadening. There were more to things than her friend was saying... "Cid-"

"Yeah, yeah, I know, I haven't answered your question..." He put an arm around her and she leaned closer to him, feeling secure within the boundaries and feelings of friendship and love. "As I was saying earlier, dat night outside da orchestra tryouts, I fell in love with da moon. It was da most beautiful thing I had ever laid eyes on, and dis obsession got me to have dis dream of actually being da first man to 'conquer' outer space. And after what Shera did on dat first test flight, I sorta lost it-"

"You have been pretty harsh on her." Tifa pointed out, and Cid just shamefacedly smiled at her.

"Hell, you can say it! I was really stupid then, but don'tcha go telling anyone I admitted dat, alright?" Cid squeezed her shoulder, chuckling softly. "I thought dat Shera ruined my dream... It took time for me to realize dat der are things in life more important than dreams..." He paused for a while as if deep in thought. "Heh, come to think of it, I was able to make dat dream come true!"

"I know. I was there." Tifa replied matter-of-factly, a small smile emanating from her face. She slightly shifted her position inside Cid's embrace to take a good look at her friend's face. "We were able to go into space-"

"Dat's only half of it." He grinned widely, his arm loosening its hold on her and coming to rest beside her on the seat. "I was finally able to open my eyes. And ya know, find my other half. Ya see, I told ya earlier everything has its purpose. If dat spikey headed jerk never made us go back to our families and rethink our cause for fighting... Then mebbe I wouldn't have mustered enough blasted courage to tell her I forgive her. Dat was when I realized dat silent gratitude could do no one any good... Silence is a good thing, but not when ya fail to get yer message across to da person ya love and feel for."

Tifa looked up, her gaze settling on the ivories of the piano; there was no need to seek Cid's face for a reaction. "You do love her, don't you Cid?"

"More than words could say."

"But..." His voice softened, like he was too hesitant to continue speaking. "But don'tcha go telling her dat, alright?" Tifa was only given a second to frown at what he said. "Because I'd rather go tell her myself."

Once again, Tifa was filled with the same kind of warmth she felt just a few moments ago, only this time, it didn't come from hearing the melodies on the piano. Rather, it was all due to a friend's confession and the soothing music of the heart.

-  
Shades of Gray Interlude Two: Growing Up

The night had long retired, the pilot had already gone upstairs to get more sleep and yet the fist-fighter was still seated in front of the piano, in the same position as Cid had left her. Tifa sat there pondering on the things she just heard from Cid when Marlene came hopping in.

"You look so happy!" Marlene exclaimed, leaning her elbows on Tifa's knees as she observed her face. "What are you thinking of Aunt Tifa?"

"Your Uncle and I just talked about some things that made me smile and feel better." Tifa stroked the little kid's hair, gently brushing away the stray strands that fell on her pinkish cheeks. She couldn't help but wonder why speaking with Marlene was akin to having a conversation with an older, more wiser person rather than speaking with an eager child. Her eyes held some sort of maturity in them despite their youth; perhaps it was because she had been a witness to a lot of situations that someone as young as her would rarely see. Then all those years spent living in Midgar were certainly a blessing in disguise...

"Papa told me you used to play the piano..." Marlene ran her small fingers down the dusty piano. That simple gesture brought forth a sea of repressed sentiments; out surfaced a door that led to the deepest, darkest chambers of her being.

A sad smile touched her lips. "Yes, I did... It was my passion."

"But I never really saw you playing it, Aunt Tifa. Why?"

"Because..." 'I chose to forget...' As soon as Tifa heard the girl's words, her mind began traveling back to the days when she never heard of pain, never felt how it was to fall in love, never had to deal with death... Memories of piano lessons with her mom came back to her in a rush, and there were too many emotions present in her chest that she felt as though it would burst. And as if having a life of their own, her hands settled themselves on the piano keys and began narrating their tale.

This time, the music that filled the house did not have the lighthearted touch that Cid's emitted; the melody was soft and slow, the sorrow and pain could be easily felt just by hearing it. And as Tifa's slender fingers danced over the ivories, her lips parted to let out a song that had been clearly forgotten until this very moment.

"I've traveled a long road Filled with grief and pain My heart carries a heavy load It's hard for me to stay sane

"I've taken too much of this The sacrifices keep coming Yet I cannot take any risk Still, I continue hoping

"I still gaze at the stars I still wish on falling stars I still look at the night sky I still dream of you and I.  
Though my dreams are mere lies Still I believe in you and I...

"I'm walking in this path alone Haven't seen the end of this dark street It's going to be a long cold journey home.  
Yet I continue hoping, I keep dragging my feet

"It's hard for me to stay sane I've taken too much, had too many pain My dream of us being together is a lie And still, I believe in you and I..."

"You have such a beautiful voice, Aunt Tifa, why did you stop?"

As if waking up from a trance, Tifa suddenly snatched her hands away from the piano and snapped her head back up to face Marlene. The young girl was looking at her curiously, expecting an answer. "I'm sorry Marlene, I stopped because don't know how the song ends..."

"It was a sad song." Marlene said softly. "But it was beautiful, Aunt Tifa."

"Thank you, my mother taught me that." That memory was vivid, so lucid, that she could remember that day in detail... how bright the sun was, how hot the weather was, how the robins chirped amongst themselves, how the warm wind blew past her light blue dress... Her mother sang that song to her only once, probably because she never wanted her daughter to relate her life to such a heartbreaking song... Quite ironic that the lyrics attached themselves to her memory, and that she was living that very same tale of sorrow as if that song was meant for her...

"You should get back to bed, Marlene. You still have to grow taller before Uncle Cid could teach you how to play the piano." Tifa scolded the little girl when she caught her stifling a yawn.

"You could teach me instead, if Uncle Cid won't, right?" Marlene asked her; she nodded. "And I'm not sleepy, Aunt Tifa." she insisted, following Tifa as she stood up from the seat, walked to the front door and pulled on her coat. "Where are you going, Aunt Tifa?"

"I'm just going to meet a friend." She answered her while wrapping the scarf around her neck. She was about to give the little girl a short lecture on keeping the door locked before bidding her goodbye but then a thought just entered her mind. "Wanna come with me?"

The sparkle in Marlene's eyes were enough to answer her, no more words were needed. And after Tifa got her all dressed up, the two of them were soon out of the house, breaths coming out of their mouths in little puffs of white clouds. The snow felt good under the soles of their boots, and the sunshine streaming down on it just made it all the more inviting.

"Aunt Tifa, can you please help me make a snowbear?" Marlene tugged on Tifa's hand, pulling her aunt towards one part of the front lawn. "Please?"

Figuring that she had all the time in the world to visit her friend, she gave in and shrugged. "Sure," she paused for a while, thinking about what Marlene just said. "Did I hear it right? You want to make a snow 'bear'?"

"Uh-huh." Marlene knelt on the ground, gathering the snow in her tiny hands. "I've seen to many snowmen, and I think it's hard to make a snow chocobo."

Tifa joined her on the ground, following the little girl's lead. "But why did you choose a bear? Don't you want to try snow bunnies? You like rabbits, right?"

"Yes I do, but I want daddy to see it. Uncle Cloud once told Papa that he looked like a marshmallow-bear in his sailor pajamas. And Uncle Cid once told me that Papa slept and snored as loud as a hibernating bear." Tifa couldn't help but laugh at that one, but she found herself listening to her laughter blending with Marlene's giggles.

When their shared laughter died down, Tifa openly observed her niece as her delicate hands worked on some sort of masterpiece. Marlene was a walking mystery; it was hard to decipher this girl's thoughts especially since she acted and thought more like an adult...

"You know, Aunt Tifa... I want to be like you."

Startled at first, Tifa was certainly flattered by what she just heard. "Thank you Marlene... But, why do you say that? I mean, don't you want to be like your dad?"

"Of course I want to be like Papa, but I don't think he'll look good in a dress." Marlene's nose crinkled in distaste and Tifa had to smile. "I want to be really pretty, as pretty as you are when I grow up, and I also want to be as strong as you... And you cook the best food!" Tifa had to laugh at that one. "Besides, it must be really fun, being able to save the world..."

Tifa laughed softly after hearing Marlene's remarks. "Hey... All those fighting and touring the world and everything... It was fun, even if we did feel like we were carrying the entire world on our shoulders-"

"But you had valid reason for feeling that, Aunt Tifa." Marlene had stopped her labor and had her full attention on her. The sunlight created a halo effect on her brown hair, and her kneeling position on the ground likened her all the more to a fallen little angel. It was a bad analogy... "Being a grown up must be really something... You know, I can't wait to start growing up!"

"Soon, little one... It shall come to you." Tifa could do nothing more but to pat her lightly on her head as a form of assurance. "But for now... Enjoy your childhood, because once you're an adult, there's no turning back. You can't choose to be a kid again if you're all grown up. And you'll have to sacrifice some of your time working instead of playing... You get me?"

Marlene had a confused frown on her face. "You make it sound so difficult, Aunt Tifa."

And Tifa could only laugh. "Well, it's really not that bad. I mean, you get to stay up late watching TV, you get to do what you want without anyone telling you what to do and what not to do... It has its privileges, but so does our childhood. Take it one step at a time, the Planet has its way of helping you mature without you noticing it..."

The little girl lowered her head, watching the snow-laden floor as she thought more about what her aunt said. "Yeah, I like being a kid... But I've always thought that it must feel really wonderful to grow up and fall in love..." Her unwavering gaze met Tifa's head on. "Like your love for Uncle Cloud."

Hearing that, coming from a child nonetheless, caused a blanket of thoughtful silence to envelope Tifa. Was it still that obvious despite the fact that she barely had the time to speak with him anymore...? Or was Marlene just too wise, far wiser beyond her years...? And did she really love him still...?

The winter breeze pushed away her troubling thoughts, caressing her cool skin with its freezing touch. She looked up just in time to see a few snowflakes floating down from the heavens. And as the wind continued whispering soothing words to her ears, the smile on her young friend's face lightened the shadows of her soul.

Added author's notes: I tried editing this, but I was not able to change anything since I was and still am so emotionally attached to this chapter. ) but if ever any of you would notice or see any mistakes, please do point it out, I shall appreciate it very much. )

Original Author's Notes: Actually, I finished this some couple of weeks (close to a month or even a little more than a month now, I think) but then I really had no way of sending it to my Beta Reader Tiy because the internet connections in this area is just so bad... The whole two interludes are both unedited, so there may be some weird parts but then I really felt that I had to post it since it's been so long and it just isn't fair to you guys. Sorry if I ended up prolonging the wait or something... --'

I'm not too sure if anybody ever noticed (or remembered) the aged piano in Chapter Nine (third paragraph, second sentence, if I'm not mistaken). I'm not even sure if those who noticed thought it would be of a significant thing... I honestly planned only to have Marlene and Tifa in here (Tifa goes down and catches Marlene attempting to play the piano), but then while I was writing the first few paragraphs, Cid just sorta popped in... I do have this little vision that Cid and Marlene have this certain 'bond' similar to Tifa's closeness to Marlene... Maybe because Cid struck me more as the father-type of guy than Barret ever did (Barret was THE friend, if you know what I mean)

So far, I think this is the longest chapter... Oh, and the first half of this also happened to have the longest title... Sorry if I bored anyone... I wanted to separate it but then I guess it wouldn't be fair if Marlene was to appear in two consecutive chapters... So, yeah, I just had to deal with the length. I do hope y'all were able to tolerate it. I think this would be the first and last time that I'd be posting multiple parts in one chapter (applicable to Shades of Gray only)... I don't really like writing lengthy sections since I think I have a tendency to go on and on... And, yeah, I just might bore you all.

Oh, can I just tell you people how hard it was to write Cid's part! Man, I didn't know at first if I should use the 'normal' language or if he should have this speech thingee like Barret's... Oh, what the heck, I didn't want to do it in the game where most of his sentences have a series of #$&. Hmm, well, at first I just used the normal language but after reading the finished product, I knew I had to revise it since it sounded and looked wrong, coming from Cid...

Let's go to the second interlude... I wasn't really comfortable with posting this one since it had my poem on it. Don't get me wrong, I DO write poems (erm, rather, I write one stanza poems... ) but then this one wasn't even planned, I never intended to have Tifa singing while playing the piano... I sorta got freaked out when my fingers started to have a mind of their own, they typed the poem in one whole sitting... Oo And if it ends up crappy, you all know it wasn't just my fault, we also have my hands to blame! If anyone wants to know, the title of the song/poem is "Still." Go figure.

I think this one wasn't as good as the first interlude. Even though I really really really love kids, I'm not really good with dealing and speaking with children. And I also don't recall ever having this kind of conversation with anyone when I was Marlene's age (I think this is what the psychiatrists/psychologists would call "Childhood Amnesia") That's why the conversation just sucked BIG TIME...

Oh... BTW, I'm currently writing two other fics (ATTEMPTING to write the next chapters of Black Soul and also making another fic, The Night a Star Fell, a gift to our dear friend Zelda6) but then again, I can't really manage my time with all these mood swings and depression and all the other problems a girl my age could have... So, I'm sorry if this chapter took so long even if I promised that it wouldn't... (the internet at home is still conking out on me...Oo) I'm just really glad some people appreciate and actually enjoy my fics.

Thank you for reading this! REALLY appreciate it.


	11. 

To the readers:  
First of all, let me apologize for my long absence. I hadn't been doing well with my studies, and I guess it was only appropriate to take time off from fanfiction writing in order to pull up my barely surviving grades. Well, as anyone can see, the finals is done and I am back, though I can say that the long period without writing just worsened my **writer's draught.  
  
If anyone is still interested in this story, please let me know which from my three 'plans' is best for you:  
  
1) I'll continue writing Shades of Gray (since I already have a clear idea of what would happen and how the story would go) but I'll post it much later on in the year, when Christmas would be near, after all, this IS a Christmas fic...  
2) I'll continue writing Shades of Gray, and I'll post the chapters as soon as Tiy proofreads them EVEN IF the timing would seem badly chosen...  
3) And if I don't get any feedback, I'll assume that no one is reading this story anymore, therefore, I am free to delete this from my file and FF.net profile.  
  
Thank you for your time, and again, I'm terribly sorry for taking so long.  
====  
Rach  
====  
  
**The term 'writer's draught' was used because it has been so long since I last wrote a decent story. 


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